I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
