I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
