All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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