Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...