I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.