Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck