I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted