if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
worst night to have a conscience
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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