i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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