never play flip cup with pint glasses
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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