She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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