i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
handjob tips. give me some.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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