He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She said her name was "party"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
