He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
