Can i not drive my cunt home
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
