If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
