he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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