whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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