Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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