The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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