Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dick very happy bro
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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