You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
