Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize