remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
