Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
