Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
