a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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