Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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