Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
