but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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