we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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