Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
