I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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