So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
