Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
