You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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