I don't usually arrange sex via text message
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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