there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
