Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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