you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
