And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
