does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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