So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
