our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
