If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Randomize
