You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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