i was rollin on her like bob the builder
im holly from the hills drunk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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