I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
