I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
