i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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