his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
