i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The air was thick with penises
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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