i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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