she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize