NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
