i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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