How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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