WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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