I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize