I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
