If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
