Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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