How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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