Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
