I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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