You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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